The End of Paradise

 

I had to go back to my last post “A World of Hurt” to see where to pick up.

 “A World of Hurt” turned into “A World of Shock, Denial, Pain and Disease”.

As I read these words I say to myself  “Jo you sound so negative”.  How about rephrasing that line?

How about “A World of Hope”, “A World of Faith” and “A World of Love”

Gold Grass 3-26

“Lassen”

July 25, 2004 – January 8, 2015

Blessed to have his perfect being present in our lives for 10 1/2 years.

Gold Grass 3-19

Lassen on a trip to University of California Davis Oct, 16th, 2014

Sometimes life does not go as planned.

 The life you thought you had suddenly changes.  Gold Grass 3-22

They start to poke and prod you when you are already feeling bad.

 How bad can that be?
Gold Grass 3-23They have check you inside and out.  And you don’t know why.

You just know you still feel bad.Gold Grass 3-24They found the problem.

And then…….You feel REAL bad when they say they cannot help your problem.

They said the liver is being taken over with a giant tumor and you can’t live without a liver.Gold Grass 3-25Who says you can’t live without a liver?

Denial is the minds best defense.

Gold Grass 3-17Denial did not keep us out of this place.

This place is what Rockin’ Roy calls his new home away from home.Gold Grass 3-15He is bald.

 He has a skull held together with snowflakes protecting his brain.

Yes this is the cranium of Rockin’ Roy  other wise known as Roy Alan Danehy

Diagnosed last October with Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade IV

Not a good type of brain cancer to get.Gold Grass 3-11

Luckily for Roy’s cancer they said something could be done.

Roy rocked through the surgery to remove the tumor.

He is taking the pills, taking the chemo, taking what comes with it.

He is taking it all valiantly

Even the radiation.Gold Grass 3-9The people at his home away from home want to make sure Roy does not move one tiny bit when he gets radiated.

So they made Roy his own mask.

Claustrophobia is not a rational fear.  For Rockin’ Roy that is.

Because once Roy’s mask is placed perfectly over his face they attach the mask to the table.Gold Grass 3-16These people, I mean these caregivers, extraordinary caregivers, seem to know what they are doing.

They have radiation recipes to follow and watch over Roy like hawk’s from the situation room.

Gold Grass 3-13

They know exactly where to target.

The frontal lobe.

 Responsible for emotion, motivation and inhibition, thinking and planning.

Problems in the frontal lobe can cause personality changes.

Remember “A World of Hurt”?

Now my world is “A World of Hope”Gold Grass 3-14And  “A World of Faith” that the recipe for destroying Roy’s brain cancer is the right one.

 I am scared looking at these images.

 I see the tumor coming back even though I’m not sure what I’m looking at.

Can I go back to denying?  I can deal with the personality changes.

Gold Grass 3-10The caregivers take the mask off Rockin’ Roy.  Roy says he does not mind the treatments.

He visualizes the radiation killing those little cancer dudes…I mean cells.Gold Grass 3-12

He is man full of hope and faith.

He is a man who loves life.  He is a man I love.

His caregivers are getting quite fond of him too.Gold Grass 3-8Back at the ranch is were we go to rest and relax.

Never mind the work that has to be done.

 And who cares about the stack of medical and vet bills piling up?Gold Grass 3-28Visions of sugarplums, dreams of another life.  Gold Grass 3-4Take walks while you still can.  Enjoy life at whatever age cause you never know when you are going to go.Gold Grass 3-7When you don’t feel well along the way take rests.  Energy conservation keeps you going.Gold Grass 3-6Don’t be afraid to confront the truth.  Denial only works for so long.

A final resting place may be the best place,

Gold Grass 3-5for these creatures we love.Gold Grass 3-27Thank you Lassen for being the best buddy a human could have.

Thank you for hanging in through the holidays and the biggest crisis of our lives.

Thank you for “A World of Love”

Until next time…… Adios Amigos.

34 thoughts on “The End of Paradise

  1. I’m sorry to hear of Lassen’s passing. I know I can’t understand the full depth of your pain on two fronts (because only you know), but I can offer my sincerest sympathy. Hang in there, even though it’s hard.

  2. I’m at loss for words. A big hug to you all, with a crying and a smiling eye. xo
    You know you love and live for real when your most Valuables are not to have for any money in the world.
    I’ll cross my fingers. All the best, all shall be well,
    Dina

  3. P.S.
    Please excuse my “all shall be well” (Mother Julian of Norwich), I was murmuring it as I read your sad story, It’s my way of comforting myself and of course they’re not appropriate as comforting words for you in this situation. So sorry, so terribly sorry for you. xo

  4. Oh Jo I am so sorry! Lassen and I had a secret bond when we met. He had the same birthday 7/25 that my soulmate pup Simba had. I am sure he is still watching over you and Roy! We all will send lots of love and light and prayers for Roy, rockin’ the treatment. My dad has cancer too and goes into surgery tomorrow to remove most of not all of his stomach. Big changes are coming.
    Depending on how things go, maybe the pups and I can come up and visit you again soon-ish? Let me know if you are up for it. I know you are surrounded by puppy love, and kitty love, … 🙂
    ❤ Julie, Ku, Nalle, and kitty sisfur Zoe

    • Yes Julie I remember how you connected and the photo I caught of it. And YES Lassie is still here. I don’t know if he is watching over me.
      Yes a visit would be nice in the spring before it gets too hot. We have a surprise coming. My lips are sealed. Sorry to hear about your dad. Changes is right. Care giving can take a lot out of you. Take care of yourself so you can help take care of him.

  5. Hi Jo,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I think the real truth that I don’t get another dog is that I loved mine so much I can’t bear to go through the pain of loosing another. The loss is so great. My heart breaks for all that you are going through. I am glad you are so strong. Big Hug! Prayers to you and Roy.

  6. Hurt, hope, pain and love are inextricably bound. It all depends on perspective. It doesn’t ease the sorrow, but you certainly have a great perspective. Lassen loved and was well loved. A legacy we should all hope to have.

  7. crying right now… and then came a huge overwhelming of emotion..thinking of you. dealing with Rockin Roy and Lassen ….you have the strength of a true Cowgirl !! Thanks for sharing your personal life with us,,,, I learn from others… it makes me stronger …. Love you,,,,, Hugs ,,, Jilly

  8. Jo….you write so eloquently about your life (highs and lows). Remember, sometimes it is the hard times that remind us how important life is to us. You are a brave soul. My prayers are for you and Roy at this time. Lassen is probably resting in a field of clover and smiling down on you and his dog buddies. Take care and thank you for being you!

  9. Oh Jo, my heart and prayers are with you and Roy, during this oh so challenging time. I know all too well what it is like to have your husband and best friend experience a life threatening disease. I found staying in the present and not looking ahead helpful in staying focused to fight the battle with him.
    And loosing Lassen so soon breaks my heart. With 3 of your precious pups passing so young makes me fear for Bailey. Our first Golden Dodger lived a long life of 15 years.
    Kay Rodriguez

    • Your points are all well taken coming from experience. I am in the present but once in awhile anxiety creeps in with regard to what the future holds. Try not to worry about Bailey. Golden’s overall are prone to cancer. Whether it is directly increased in my line of dogs is yet to be said. Bailey is of English Cream mix unlike Kelsey and Madison who were strictly American Golden’s. The English have lower cancer rates although I have to research this more. My sisters American Golden died last year at age 15. Take Care, Thanx for your kind words.

  10. So sorry to read this, a reminder for us all that shit happens when you least expect it. Your beautiful golden had the best life and you and your husband will go on to enjoy life with the other four legged members of the family. Joy

  11. Jo, so glad to hear from you and so saddened by your news. Sending you one giant {{hug}} because we all need them when our hearts hurt. You have been in my thoughts an prayers ever since your last post. Sending you strength and hope and love for you and Roy.
    Kelly

  12. Hi Jo and co.,
    I have been wondering about you and yours. You are in my thoughts a lot. {Sigh} Sorry to hear about Lassen, what a great dog he was!
    And I almost called about Roy, it was on my to-do list for this weekend (to check in…). Every time I pass the trauma waiting area I send up a quick prayer… Tell Roy I said to hang in there, my radiation was probably a lot milder, but I do recall… It seemed like it took forever…and so tired. Chicken soup and lightly toasted sour dough bread… Sending prayers his way.
    Take good care of yourself,
    Love Cheree

  13. oh………that is so terrible to lose a loved one. I lost my boxer, Lizzy, on 04 Aug 2014 and there’s not a day that i dont miss her terribly. She had Lymphoma. My heartfelt condolences to you. Nothing can replace the void left by them.

  14. Jo, your candid, heartfelt, and poetic words and your gorgeous photos have been an enormous inspiration for me and a reminder to me to slow down and and take the time to fully appreciate the people (and critters) in my life. Keep on writing! Many blessings to you and Rockin’ Roy.

    • Hi Kathleen, good to hear from you and nice to hear your comments. The encouragement means a lot coming from you as a journalist. This blog has been an avenue for me to showcase my photography and tell about my life and most of all learn how to write which I have always wanted to do. My style and ability to draw in readers is evolving and improving. Wonderful to connect. Hugs, Jo

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